Time for contemplation

3 days. i've stayed at home. onli thing i've done is go out for dinner (once).
Used the excused of being sick to stay home. I think i'm sick. but maybe its just schizophrenia.
I need help. aka doc. and from myself.

The future will be tough. Health will be a killer. An old friend of mine told me that. and now everyone will know when i'm sorta religious. But yeah. i believe when u remember stuff like i do, u cant help living in the past.

I need my ability to write now. Give something so great it might just get me that 700bucks prize. Its been a while since i've written. and i think i've lost the ability or just gone without practice for too long.

I need my brain to think. To decide and calculate everything for work. to predict and solve problems even before the idea gets into anyones' head.

I'm stressed. Will my health stop me from achieving? Will i be able to perform and save the day? live up to my expectations? Make miracles?

i have no idea.
onli time will tell.