From the beginning of time, i have found myself to be incredibly disgusting in terms of the things i do and how i can always manage to screw things up in times where it would be most bright not to. Examples: breaking the nose of a close friend with just a flick on my water bottle, to swear infront of a person whom i was trying to impress and happens to be my present crush (then).. you get the idea..
but yeah somehow, even the most disgusting specimens have people liking them and think that they are perfect and stuff.. in my situation.. my present gf... its kinda funni how she can love me so much when i don even think i'm normal or mentally sane... somehow.. no matter what stupid things i do infront of her or to her, she kinda just forgets about it and loves me.. its weird.. after almost 16 years of being screamed at just because of my stupidity.. and someone likes it? weird...
Love is indeed a very very deep thing.. if not, i just don understand it.. it can make people give up their lives for their love ones.. change their way of life so drastically that they have to live with someone else for the rest of their live. and for her.. it is forgo logic to be with me.. even when i'm down with a highly contagious disease, she would want to be with me and take care of me and stuff.. seriously? am i worth that? i'm not sure.. if i were her, i wouldnt even want to be around this loser (me).. but yeah.. what does she see in me? i have no idea...
Life is meant to not make sense, not mentioning love. But i'm just not sure if its worth it, and not sure if i'm worth it..
Thursday, March 31, 2005
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