26-11-04.. What a wonderful day... It started when we went around hunting for guitar parts.. it soon got late and we were somewhere near peace center. We heard music.. someone playing Tian tian xiang ni by mayday.. It sounded great.. we sang to it.. and yeah.. it was excellent. Soonm we found out that city music was closed. We then walked back the way we came from. The music was still there. we went down, found a sit and started chilling there. It was paradise.. Paradiz to be exact.. we were at paradiz centre.. they had a live gig thingy going on. Under the nite sky.. stars.. moon.. music.. what a perfect scenario. We got them to sing some of our songs.. they did well.. chun zhen.. guan huai fang shi.. it was.. Perfect.. When they had to end.. we took a walk along orchard.. it started raining.. But somehow.. its seemed as if the rain made everything more beautiful.. everything seemed so.. nice.. we had to run through the rain.. but everything felt great.. somehow.. its different how u see the world when you're in the rain rather than watching it rain. We soon came to the bus stop where we waited for our bus to arrive. Maybe its the rain.. maybe its the atmosphere.. i got the courage to talk about something i've been wanting too.. and yeah.. its good to know that someone feels the same way u do.. life is indeed brilliant.. the day ended at 5 when i finished working on her guitar.. and finishing it with 2 blisters.. but yeah.. i know.. its worth it.. i really believe it is..
 

My Love Cycle

To me.. My relationships go through this vicious cycle no matter what.... here's my impression of it..

Stage 1:
Crush Period:

this is the time period where i go crazily in love with a creature of the other gender. I will have all my might in my hand, all the strength i need in the world to do ANYTHING for her. This is also the time when my wallet is near to being non-existent. I will spend all my cash.. no matter what, and still feel happy about it. I also have the constant adrenaline when the subject is in my visual range. To put it simply, experience the meaningless high of love.

Stage 2:
Crash Period:

this is the time period when the high feeling fades. Reality gets to me and i lose all that drive that was present before. I start swearing(again).. go nuts.. search for thrills.. and most importantly, live life as if i was nuts or realli pissed off. (Like what i did last night..) and live like a rock star, severely hang -over-ed.. unconscious.. and has no regard for common logic..

Stage 3:
After Burn:

This is the time after crashing and trying to kill myself through means like drinking. I get back my common sense, logic, and ability to not be affected by the gal that could torture me emotionally before... And from there, i will take up moral responsibilies to ensure that the girl doesnt get screwed by my dumb actions and to make sure that the ending to either the fling or something else is.. pleasent

Stage 4:
Independence:

this is when i can think that its good being single cause i'm carefree and can do what ever i like, while ignoring the usual loneliness and boredom of it. And when i start missing relationships, the cycle repeats and goes back to stage one. Sucks eh? hahaha.. yeah.. just hope i can break it.. hahaha..

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

the chocolate idea was great.. we had chocolate coated marshmallows.. chocolate pancakes... chocolate everything.. and yeah.. everyone was high high high... had so much fun and yeah.. brendon.. EVERYONE COUNTED HOW MANY MARSHMALLOWS U ATE!!! hahaha.. yeah.. INDIAN POKER ROCKS


first nite.. we went bowling.. pool.. and late nite walking around.. when the dudes went to sleep.. ling zhen, wenxiu, althea and i went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the gang.. hahaha.. althea had the usual heavy eye lids.. but she survived the nite.. hahaha.. we made so much pan cakes that there was like a tower.. hahaha the gals learnt how to flip pan cakes.. hahaha.. cool eh.? hahaha.. we did all that till 7.. everyone woke up.. and we decided to get some sleep after all.. hahaha

hehehe.. second nite..2.29am dudes all sound asleep.. and after a game of bluff.. everyone got hungry.. we went to the kitchen, raid the fridge, got some peanut butter and nutella, a loaf of bread and went back in to the room.. hahaha.. then.. all hell broke loose.. we played dai dee.. and somehow.. i seemed more like bluff to me.. hahahaha.. "is 7 bigger than 2?" hahahah.. yes of course.. and yeah.. something got to me.. and i decided to teach them how to play indian poker.. hahaha.. i slap the card onto my forehead and started playing.. maybe because of the chocolate in our system.. everyone did the same.. we luffed all the way.. and yeah.. many of us got cards that could play dai dee well.. hahahaha.. we luffed so much that when we wanted to like rest for a sec.. the next second was like 5? hahahaha.. we were so tired after luffing so much that all of us went down.. and yeah.. when i woke up.. there were prawns everywhere.. hahaha.. curling up.. and i somehow sleep walked down to the living room.. hahaha and that was it..

hehehe.. got cigarettes? hahaha.. so much for dyed hair.. metal bracelets.. and yeah.. pink shirt that says neat stuff.. hahahaha.. yeah.. image is real immportant.. we are guai peps.. but yeah.. we get misunderstood.. hahahaha.. hahaha.. seriously.. we look like crooks.. maybe we should change and comb side partings and stuff.. hahaha.. maybe then we'll not be misunderstood.. hahaha.. =P 

hahaha.. yeah.. fun fun fun.. all the way.. got kinda sleepy on this ride.. decided to snap a few great pics for the guys.. hahaha.. yeah.. heard kok wee's sissy screaming when he was coming down.. hahaha.. too bad this thing doesnt do videos.. so damn.. sissy... hahahaha.. yeah.. i like the rides too.. too bad it rained and stuff.. and yeah.. we had to wait an hour just to get rejected and sent back because of a stupid ride screwup.. hahaha.. but yeah.. later that nite it was much better.. hahaha.. something cool happened..  

hehehe.. yeah.. this was the time when relationships blossomed too.. u can see in the pic.. nice peps having a ride together.. there were much more of this kinda situations.. but yeah.. i was having fun and didnt take any.. hahaha.. i myself got something more than a fun occasion.. i learned more about the peps around me.. and yeah.. for one especially.. hahaha.. =).. i guess the others also got something more out of this.. wink* rite yoges? hahahaha..  

during these few days.. we also found out about some querks of our pals.. this guy over here.. hem... only can say that he's realli fashionable and yeah.. innovative with his hair style.. hahaha.. other than that, i've found out that a guy is most vulnerable when in the toliet having a bath.. kok wee got harassed by the dudes when they tried opening his toilet door.. joseph too..and yeah.. hygiene matters.. guys can realli screw up the toilet seat.. hahaha.. and yeah.. i was realli happy.. i took like 5 showers a day.. its not warm.. but yeah.. i like taking baths.. hahahaha..  

Look at these happy faces.. Hahaha.. every looks as if they were having fun.. hahaha.. i'm not in the picture by the way.. i was recovering from a sore *****.. after trying to cycle with a guy much heavier than me.. DAMN... INERTIA-->FRICTION-->HEAT-->OucH!... hahahah.. think u will get what i mean. but yeah.. its not often that ever one can just live life to have fun.. hahahaha.. look at these peps.. so.. happpy.. hahahaha.. we were happy even when we were killing roaches with kok wee's flip flops.. hahaha.. i killed 1/1/2.. brendon killed 1.. and xinru killed another half.. hahaha.. yeah.. think that it was all done by chocolate.. yeah.. CHOCOLATE ROCKS.. hahaha..  

Da Best Chalet I've ever been.. So Damn Cool.. even though 4 peps decided not to go at the last minute, we realli had fun.. and i mean alot of it.. hahahaha.. we had great food: Chocolate coated marshmallows, chocolate pancakes, spagetti, pasta, barbecued chicken, seafood, and most importantly, nutella, peanut butter and LOTSA CHOCOLATE!!.. hahaha.. seems to me that without them, we could make decisions in seconds, and do what we want to when we want to.. hahahaha.. its like.. we lived how we wanted to.. hahaha.. and yeah.. nothing for us to be unhappy about.. hahaha.. yeah.. ROCKS..  

This is officially the first gal i seriously fought with.. Not physically.. But yeah.. realli "fiery" kinda thing.. Normally.. nothing will get me.. mostly because i don care about anything about others.. But.. the thing is that.. there are a specific type of people that can get me realli emotional.. 1) my family members, 2) people that i care about how they think and that they are more "special" than others. hem.. i realli think that the time is not up yet.. After o's.. i'll start doing work.. somehow.. i think my communication skills are dirt lousy or that i realli cant speak my mind.. hahaha.. think we'll get to know each other better if we actually get to interact.. this internety stuff.. is not what u realli want.. trust me.. tried this once.. nearly went mad.. its so damn boring.. haha.. but yeah.. what i want to say.. yeah.. fate.. didnt let us meet up suddenly and stuff.. but yeah.. maybe we did.. only we didnt know of.. know what i mean.. just have to say this this gal is the second most sunshine cheery and encouraging person i've ever met.. the first.. you guys know who.. i killed by crashing a bike.. making this gal.. FIRST.. Number 1 Sunshiney Shimmery Gal... hahaha.. lameo.. But the idea is there.. yeah.. looking forward to hanging with ya.. but yeah. this time.. not waiting for fate for a chance.. =).. But yEah.. if you read this.. I would want you to know that you've been a realli great pal to me.. and yeah.. meeting you is realli something great that happened to me.. i realli appreciate how you try to make me smile.. i know i get down and stuff (often).. But yeah.. i know with you... i'll have less of those days.. so.. yup.. ROCK ON!! You're Da Best! Take care And CyA!
 

I've known her since sec 2... She was(and still is) this nice girl that i really enjoy talking too... She sat right behind me.. and i enjoyed turning back even when the teacher was crapping and risk get punish for not nodding to what she said.. Since then.. she has been a wonderful friend to me. One that i can count on whenever i'm feeling blue.. one that i know will be there for me when i realli need someone. This is what u call a true friend. Not many will know her impact on me.. But i know i do.. and it is something that not even words can describe. Something much deeper than what other can think of.. So.. maybe for the first and last time.. I should tell her that i'll realli miss those times together and please. Take care.. God Bless.. And best wishes for everything you do.. Cya My friend... 

Class 402/302 has been the most interesting class i've ever seen, and ever been in. It seems as if people go to school not even to study at all... Theres been sightings of guitars.. home-made cookies.. and even sandwich makers.. The Cool thing is that we make up our own ecosystem despite how different we are. We help each other when we need help (eg when we lost 50buck).. and make fun of each other no matter what time of the year it is.. (poor kok wee and joseph)..  

These are the other 2 of the 3&1/2 blind mice... Hx and Yx... They are those whom i call "true/best friends".. i've know them since sec 2.. and ever since then, we've had fights, squabbles and other "normal" stuff.. Guess what? We're still friends.. and yeah we've been tru alot.. Our individual relationships.. quarrels.. but also, we had lotsa fun in the sun, beach, water, and my aunt's house.. We take care of each other when someone is sick.. visit them.. and try to kill them with homework.. That.. i will NEVER forget.. Talk about pleasent memories.. =) 

In life.. we will meet some that will have a bigger impact on us than others.. This is what u call a true and worthy friend, someone who will make u smile when you're sad.. someone that will just put up with all of your nonsense... That is why true friends are hard to find.. when u have finally found them... Value them... 

Life is full of unpredictables... The only think i live for is the smiles of others.. I'll try my best to make the people around me feel good, and their happiness is my biggest encouragement to live on..  

The past 4 years have been the best years of my life.. i've made lotsa new friends, did lotsa cool stuff.. and made others do it too.. Doesn't he look sweet with those roses? 

Phenomena

Love Drives Me Nuts<--------------Fact

The whole emotional thingy.. the whole adrenaline.. The whole blood rush to the head. Its Fun.. Until you have to forget someone. And that someone happens to be someone who happens to be what you realli appreciate and respect.

Somehow. I tend to fumble when these things are concerned. I become the worst that i can be, screw up, and feel sorry for the rest of my miserable life.. i'm sure its a vicious cycle as it has happened 3 times already and yeah. I've onli had 3 important ladies in my life. (small world eh? yeah.. No life. Live with it.)

But still we have to be optimist bout it. Maybe one day i can finally fall in love with a girl that wont get upset over my stupid attitude. But to be honest. I liar so much that only when my friends see me, they know what i mean. I speak in rhymes. Making everything so.. "Literature".

But the fact is that i seriously don speak like normal human beings. the whole bare soul thingy.. its.. too demanding for me. I use actions to speak. cause i know that my words get me into trouble ALOT.

And yeah.. my attitude. Not everyone can stand it. Hey.. I got it carbon copied from my sis? We sit around all day to chat about "how is our society influenced by post-modernism and stuff".. And yeah.. I can only blame my family for our intelligence.

Not everyone has parents who give u partial independence at our age and throw us into the world to learn our own moral and ethics.. Only with this freedom, we can venture into reality and see how people get bitten by the harsh world outside.

So.. back to me and raging hormones... Yeah.. Love.. Not realli for a guy who cannot even tell others what he feels and what is True? hahahaha.. Truth.. hate that word.. What is true? Subjectivity...

Okay.. Enuff crapping already.. so.. yeah.. Love.. I think i'll just be friends.. with the rest of the female population in my consciousness.. so.. yeah.. What didnt i think of that? that could have changed lotsa stuff.. hahaha.. too late.. i'm always late at this kinda stuff.. hahahaha..

Never mind then.. Live life.. "for the time being".....

To that Someone Special... Still..

To that someone special. I'm not sure if you're feeling the same way, but
yeah.. i guess its fine to share.

Before i met you, my life was indeed in a downward spiral, confused with thoughts of life, relationship, and
family. But it seemed that it was going to change, when i actually met you again.

We are not actually strangers, but we are foreign to each other, we share no
common interests, but we have common thoughts.
What are we?

I have no idea why i am speaking in riddles, but yeah.. think i'm going nuts.. it happens when i fall for someone. and yeah.. i have to say.. i don respond too
well to all these kinda stuff..

back, when we finally spoke, my world seem to revolve around you, you were my cenre of gravity, at least it
seems, everything that is making my world go round.

you're everything beautiful i see, no matter how insecure you are, you are still the most gorgeous gal
around, you are what i wish for, what i want the most.

its kinda changed now, i'm kinda passed the coma stage, i have my senses now,
my doubts, my mind. although you drive me head over heels, i still wish to consider, whether is it now, is it never, is it the
future or has it already passed. i would not know. Lets put this in god's
hands, he let us come by each other, now he seal our fate. Not sure if he'll
have fun making a joke about it, but yeah.. i trust him. no matter who he is..
Thanks btw..

Lets let fate decide for now,
while i grow to what i want to be, and for u to continue on your path. Goodbye,
for now..

First Love

This is one story that never happened and never will.

3 years ago, fate brought a boy and a girl together when the boy had changed the day he had a computer course. Meeting for the first time, the boy thought the girl how to do the things they learnt and slowly grew comfortable with each other. Both of them exchanged their neopets address with each other, this was onli the beginning..

1 year later, the both of them became the best of chat friends, talking about everything but nothing at all, the boy felt a certain liking towards the girl and started wooing her. Knowing that she had many more past relationships than him, he went ahead. He seeked her friends for help, communicating with a third person. Slowly, they exchange letters day by day and they had all the fun in the world, or at least thats what he thought.

One day, it was raining so heavily, the boy took it as a sign from god to do something for her, he took his umbrella and ran in the rain just to get it to her. When he finally went back after delivering the item, the rain stop, with precise timing.. It was as if god played a trick on the boy, but it was not the end.. On the first occasion where the boy wanted to send the girl home, extremely coincidently, her mum was there. As a highly adaptive individual, he quickly switched to his nearby friends just for cover, he still boarded the bus with her, just with the friends he was with, not knowing what to do, he got down half way, and headed on home, devastated.

What many did not know that the relationship lacked something so severe, something so important, communication. They spoke in letters, but it became harder and harder as the girl had to write the letters during school hours and was caught a few times.. this lead to disaster.

During the school holidays, the boy had some problem staying online and waiting for the girl to come online. He had to take care family affairs such as cooking for the family.. this lead to them drifting apart. slowly.. the drifted further and further away.. and then it was the day, the day the broke apart.. the breakup was in words spoken my the girl, not literally, but, in an email......

before the breakup, the boy wanted to do something nice for the girl, he bought chocolates and put in with his gift in a heart shaped container. The gift was a watch he saved so badly by skipping meals and carrying out chores for cash.. It was so beautiful even the boy fell for it, till now.. the boy still remembers how it looks, with the deep blue coloured face, the colour that was so alike to the girl.. something.. beautiful...

till this day, the boy still remembers everything so vividly, but still.. it's all history....