thinking twice

Did i give up my committments too easily? i might have another interesting situation if i chose something what i did.. even maybe reach the top of my career of some sort.. oh my god.. am i screwing up my own life for something that is even to me... useless?

i need a drink...

Am i going to settle with this life?

From a very long time ago.. i have found my goals to be rich and sucessful.. To be a highly paid professional who spends money like water.. and still have a sucessful life..

After my recent family gathering, i saw that my side of the family does not realli have that few characteristic while the rather 3rd degree relative has that wonderful life that i'll die for..

did i make another wrong choice that will result in a alternative future? am i holding onto a life style too much that i might stay like this forever and lose the chances of getting my wonderful life?

Do i have to let go of everything i have now to pursue for that goal that i might not reach? being motivated is good for me.. but is there something as being over motivated?

i know i wont settle for a normal.. peaceful middle income family with a 9-5 job where i have to come home for dinner, sleep and wake up in the morning for another mundane day of work?

I wanna play.. have fun.. know people.. but.. is there something in my life stopping me? should i pursue that freedom? Can i?


realli confused