Due to recent encounters.. i have kinda come to terms with my past.
Some that are not to be proud of.
Shit happens. and yeah.. been living in denial for sometime now.
Blocked out stuff so much that i kinda lost touch with reality and time.
But i think it doesnt matter now..
I'm on a journey for a new life. New future.
Something away from temptation. No. i am not going to become a monk.
I'm just going to be less or even not alcoholic,
i will not have my fancy speeches on pre marital sex, and other weird ideas to over throw moral norms..
and yeah.. maybe live more responsibly also.
I hope i suceed. Especially with the new muse in my life... who has inspired me with patience, like 3 and half hour donut factory patience.. and a drive for a simple, sucessful life. meaning with a nice house and like nice job and like nice food.
See. life don have to be scandalous, intense or really realli sinful. It doesnt have to be a beef steak oozing with blood or a really really great glass of wine.. tea's fine too.. especially with someone at the other end of the table, with great conversation.
hmm.. sorry if i'm kinda drifting.. must be due to the dehydrating brought abt by food poisoning. so yeah.. anyway.. must thank my new muse... and hope everything goes fine for u.. and i'll be there when u need help. =)
yes. i'm drifting. get me a drip
Monday, May 28, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Truth
Got my little Golden book on Truth.
No time to read it.
Yesterday was hectic.
I make chocs with lex and shuzhen yesterday.. had lotsa fun.. made lotsa mess and then went to meet wayne to pass him his guitar which i stole from him.
Then i took the train all the way down to bedok, hopped onto 40 and went in search of the mysterious city satay. it was hard to find, i got down 1 bus stop later and searched in the opposite direction. that was fine. bought the satay even though they should have been closed 1 hr earlier. Lucky i guess.
Then i went on the incredible journey to get to pit 35 at ecp. its madness. i took a bus till parkway and walked from there. its god damn far away la.. its like walking from one end to the other.. i was carrying like frozen satay in one hand and chocolates on the idea. i walked for forever, but still reached.. somehow i didnt start swearing at every single soul i see.. but i actually helped with the cooking cause i saw that the girls were doing the cooking and the good for nothing guys just stood around and waited to be served. i help to cook and all and i kinda missed the msg that i was waiting for.. when i did.. its like 9.. and i needed to meet someone. funny part bout that is that she's actually at parkway. so i had to walk all the way back and come back to the pit later. but it was fine.
i tried my best to walk fast.. but i didnt think it was fast enuff so i ran abit.. and yeah.. my stomach hurt like crap. had a little food and maybe no drinks.. and it felt as if my stomach was like eating itself inside out.. but yeah.. it got better when i continued walking to my destination. but yeah. i survived it.. passed her the chocolates and waited with her for the bus. somehow. i didnt speak to her like i had planned to... maybe still too shy or something.. but yeah.. i guess somethings i just cant say out..
But on the way back to the pit, i decided to give her a call.. despite the fact that i saw her just 10mins ago. and i just told her everything that i wanted.. almost everything.. but yeah.. i got a rather neutral response.. and i didnt know whether i should be happy or sad bout it. But yeah.. mad pep do mad stuff. and i think that maybe i should just stop doing stupid stuff and start to think about other stuff.. work.. life.. and my whole direction..
Maybe its not the time.. maybe its like me? or yeah.. just simply.. bad communication skills. i guess theres nothing much i can do abt it.. but just wait for love to visit me. while i enjoy my starbucks and a philosophy book that is.. =)
No time to read it.
Yesterday was hectic.
I make chocs with lex and shuzhen yesterday.. had lotsa fun.. made lotsa mess and then went to meet wayne to pass him his guitar which i stole from him.
Then i took the train all the way down to bedok, hopped onto 40 and went in search of the mysterious city satay. it was hard to find, i got down 1 bus stop later and searched in the opposite direction. that was fine. bought the satay even though they should have been closed 1 hr earlier. Lucky i guess.
Then i went on the incredible journey to get to pit 35 at ecp. its madness. i took a bus till parkway and walked from there. its god damn far away la.. its like walking from one end to the other.. i was carrying like frozen satay in one hand and chocolates on the idea. i walked for forever, but still reached.. somehow i didnt start swearing at every single soul i see.. but i actually helped with the cooking cause i saw that the girls were doing the cooking and the good for nothing guys just stood around and waited to be served. i help to cook and all and i kinda missed the msg that i was waiting for.. when i did.. its like 9.. and i needed to meet someone. funny part bout that is that she's actually at parkway. so i had to walk all the way back and come back to the pit later. but it was fine.
i tried my best to walk fast.. but i didnt think it was fast enuff so i ran abit.. and yeah.. my stomach hurt like crap. had a little food and maybe no drinks.. and it felt as if my stomach was like eating itself inside out.. but yeah.. it got better when i continued walking to my destination. but yeah. i survived it.. passed her the chocolates and waited with her for the bus. somehow. i didnt speak to her like i had planned to... maybe still too shy or something.. but yeah.. i guess somethings i just cant say out..
But on the way back to the pit, i decided to give her a call.. despite the fact that i saw her just 10mins ago. and i just told her everything that i wanted.. almost everything.. but yeah.. i got a rather neutral response.. and i didnt know whether i should be happy or sad bout it. But yeah.. mad pep do mad stuff. and i think that maybe i should just stop doing stupid stuff and start to think about other stuff.. work.. life.. and my whole direction..
Maybe its not the time.. maybe its like me? or yeah.. just simply.. bad communication skills. i guess theres nothing much i can do abt it.. but just wait for love to visit me. while i enjoy my starbucks and a philosophy book that is.. =)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Happy?
Max brenna. Good chocolate. Happy
Donut Factory. 1.5hrs of queuing. happy people arnd me
Steak from buckaroo. Meat. Happy
Spiderman 3 poster from pop corn . Sleeping beside it. Happy.All the same. Sick puppies
Somehow. after some turn of events. I'm depressed. I have this weird urge again. To seek what i find comfort in. Something i have no done for sometime. Drink. Until i cannot recognise my surroundings. Just drown myself from the emotions. I'm sure now. I'm still not over her.
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