Life

Lets see. wanted to update but the com kinda wasnt cooperative..
wanted to post pics of what i cooked but i guess its a wrong timing thing.

Stuck at home with 3 days mc.. gastritis.. whatever it means.. puked on mon morn and i met my lunch and dinner in the sink soon aft.

good part of this is the wonderful schedule which allows me to book in on sun.. but bad part is that its sorta a confinement.. no oily food and most food that have like a taste?

and as usual.. being stuck at home gave me time to think.

actually i think i'm way too stressed up in camp.

people think that way too.

on high alert all the time..

nervous wreck.

but yeah.. i guess i have unique ways to unwind. and chill.

i stand down only when i think theres a correct time for it.

and yeah.. i think rock music is essential in chilling me down.. and i don get that much in camp..

aww.. missing my headphones.. hope i get them back soon.

random?

Xmas is here!

ok.. at least for my family kinda way.

had our xmas gathering yest and as always theres a tonne of food.. chaos.. and contribution by people even thoug they were damn busy and stuff..

This year theres new additions to our family tradition of over eating.. and it proved to be quite exciting.. hahaha..

And C and i contributed too. I made like chocs with an xmas twist and she did a tedious blueberry cheese cake that took precious sleeping time.

My Xmas Creations!

Left: Dark chocolate mint truffle coated with icing sugar

Right: White chocolate truffle with coconut and gula malacca ( hot favE)

Back: White chocolate mint truffle coated with candy cane

all of them were like new recipe and ideas and they worked out pretty fine.. all with a theme along too.. all the white snow minty xmas-y kinda feel to it. hahah a challenge for me esp with that date line of mine.

Next was C's creation of blueberry cheesecake which was made from scratch, painstakening baked and refrigerated repeatedly till the wee hours on sat..

The Blueberry sauce or whatever u call it is definitely the best part.. the sweetness is is just perfect to bring out the taste of the blueberry and not too much to overpower the taste of the cheese cake.

Something definitely good for this kinda function where people take food seriously and very good attempt for someone who bought her oven for only a week. =)

my friends dropped by too to have a chat and all with me maybe due to the fact that i sorta MIA-ed for something with the short weekends during bookout and other commitments.. had a lil wine.. food and entertaining chaos.. hahah..

the pic was take by sx and i think it describes what happens during xmas at my house. haH.

So many things happening at the same time. Can u handle it? hahaha

Chunkfest! Not.

After reaching the 4th mark, decided that we should do something nice that both of us will enjoy.. what meant to be a surprise turned out to be too much of a surprise.

We got there after it had just rained and the sun got back up. So it was humid, muddy and incredibly warm then. And when we got into the actual place, it was damn crowded(free ice cream.. who guessed?)

We made it all the way up and found that the lack of tentage was getting on our nerves and soaking up in the mud to queue for our free ice cream wasnt much for a motivation to stay. So decided to do what other people have done, take pictures.. and get the hell outta there!

we didnt get free ice cream so i decided to take a bite out of the wooden board ones..


the only thing mildly entertaining was the foam stars that they had which floats arnd the place and it attracted crowds of people standing arnd, just to take pictures of the UFO. We even had to help some folks take picture for them.. like?

We saw the UFOs all arnd town after that and it was more of a pain in the ass than an attraction.. and yeah.. we got ice cream anyway.. in air conditioned comfort.. just to make it up for the mud sweat and effort. haH

1234...

simply disgusting hypnotic song that i liked the the first time i heard it.

Simple.

and gets the point across.

1836hrs

weekend coming to an end.
Start of a new week.
Cant sit still.
thoughts going tru my head
like cars racing on a high way.

Maybe i'm just bad alone.
After so long of being arnd people
or being inseparable.

Maybe its time to cut some slack and give a lil room for freedom.
or is it too much freedom for me?

Chill out Sat

After a week of hectic schedules, ups and downs and nervous breakdowns..

i get to relax for a day or two during the weekend and just stay home, watch a nice dvd and whip up something to eat..

Grilled chicken sandwich.. not much of a cheem gourmet thing, but satisfies my craving for meat..

Just a simple grilled chicken with lettuce and slightly toasted bread.. delish.

Watched the notebook.. kinda sappy romantic film.. C liked it.. but yeah.. maybe a guy thing.. kinda obvious love story.. but yeah.. for the company ya?

hmm.. so is it rlly possible for it to last that long?

ponder on.

Avenue Q

Cool. just caught Avenue Q yest with C. interesting musical and happens to be like our first musical sorta stuff in esplanade..



3 hours of puppets and adult-ish content. interesting.



Sucks to be me eh?



hahaha

Updates.

After a really short week, shall brace myself for the real deal.

What cant kill u makes u stronger.. but what kills u kills u.. shall tread on that line as well as i can and do everything well enough to get me my 2 ikan bilis.

Weekend was fun. ate alot and jogged like once this morn. shall step it up when i'm inside. get some stamina and stuff. Fri was mostly staying hm and resting with c coming to visit and just hanging tgt.

Sat had dim sum with alex wayne and sx at tong lok at ecp. not bad the food and i believe i ate enuff to get the cost back. hahaha then aud joined and had la mian for dinner. 3 botaks met lotsa pep on the way and u cant believe how much NS guys can talk when they meet each other. hahaha..i'm the "other" kind so wont have so much to talk bout. but at least theres a convo.

Sun was out with C, went back to amoy street fc for food, most stalls closed but had this nice fish porridge which cost 7 bucks, not wholesome but good enuff to eat. chinese desserts were next and we shld get there earlier next time. haH. walked anrd like everything from china town to clarke quay and headed home for dinner. Steamed fish and curry.. MMmmm.. somehow after ns.. i always get cravings not for the sinful stuff.. but more of steamed fish. like old sch promfret teochew style. something i don get to eat often. maybe thats why.

aft talking to the guys i found out that actually what i go tru aint that xiong and bad. in terms of numbers, we don do that much and theres alrd concern over safety.. so it aint that bad eh?

Brace and take it like a man.
"you're a big guy and should have some power eh?"
lets see some power in the coming week.
and make C3P0 into the terminator kinda robot...
its not OSA if its all in my brain eh?

Picnic Time!

041008
Went to Fort canning for picnic and i didnt have to do much work. hahaha. being in camp u don really have time to think about what to cook and do.. but yeah.. this time someone else did the work for me ya? =)
Started the day with fruit salad and freshly squeezed orange juice.. made from a dozen oranges by hand.. thats as good as it gets.. but even i wont be hardworking enuff to do that.. or maybe i'm just lazy..


then there was egg and potato salad.. also made by C.. how does she do that anyway? like so much prep and effort just to feed me. hahaha

okay.. finally my little contribution to the day.. croissant-wich with ham, eggs and cheese.. and lettuce of course.. like a one course meal kinda thing. hahaha i know it looks hideous.. but i'm greedy and tried too much to fit everything in one serving. haH.

For dessert there was the chocolate tart that C made with marshmallows, short bread crumbs and cornflakes.. hahah mmmm Chocolate..

after enjoying the food, we went for eagle eye and i guess its nt bad, but yeah.. predictable and stuff at parts, bt not too bad as a whole.

will be getting confined this weekend.. guess i tried my best to enjoy before losing freedom ya? hope everything goes well and time fly.

cya guys in 12 days ya.

hidden away from the world.

The feeble Life.

Grim. Very grim.
Another one drop like flies.
Something quite freaky.
So close to what i do.
Its not about limits.
Or about how u stop if u know u cant.
Shit happens.
Thats the fact.

How would i know i'm next?
Or when i'll drop?
Its all too good now.
I'm just starting to enjoy it.

Lets just hope the higher power thinks so too.
Grim. eh?

Life as a PNSF

apart from the hair, nothing much is different. i still walk like a robot.. careless still.. but opened up a whole new social circle.

everyone knows someone in each other's social circle i tell ya..

and yeah.. finally have achieved sorta balanced life. enjoying my weekends and slogging my weekdays. so yeah. if wanna meet up tell me in advance ya. hahah

going back in a few hours alrd. then back to the same communal lifestyle. shit happens. but hopefully less on me and my squad.

nt feeling too good actually. but i hope i can persist and not miss out much. hope i don get worst and survive everything.

i know i'm fortunate.. and i hope i get to stay that way..

and i'll be ready to tackle anything that comes.

stop whining and be a man.

The legendary black pork.

after my initial encounter with the kurobuta black pork, loved it. but somehow failed to conquer it.





here's today's practice run.. hmmm

abit charred.. but pink on the inside..


a little bit more maybe?

hmm.. making brownies and ice cream tmr.. hope all goes well. and that my dear will enjoy herself too.

2 more days?

Limit

I am officially at my limit. Although i still slp at least 6hrs.. i'm not feeling too fine now.

lefts see list of accomplishments

moved office,taught tuition, made brownies, became office boy, did a truck load of data entry, prepared stuff for RAFFLES II, made new friends, met old ones, ate alot, learn how to use photocopier, made chocolates, fell in love with my new Bose QC 3 headphones =)

Here's the beauty =)

Sleek, Slim without losing the amazing quality.

Makes the old one feel like shit. and this beauty blocks out sound like no one's business. makes noise feel so yesterday. =)

anyway. to not digress.. tmr is my last day and i shld have caused my colleagues to spent a bomb on my meals. and rlly thank them for taking so much care of me.. =)

hope the chocs meet your expectations. and yeah. i've learnt so much.

Rest is in my reach. one last week to enjoy. before my life rlly changes.

and i hope u'll be there with me. 8)

Chill out time

Finally, after a long long week of work, i finally get my wonderful break. dinner at aston's prime and stay over at sx hse.

and of course. cam whoring. =) enjoy

The usual 3 old folks, posing for this one.. we look normal.. don we?

Of course we arent.. watch those hands ya? hahaha

only we are capable of such retarded gestures.

Somehow aud and i have gone a long way. since FO and all.. but yeah. contempt is universal. haH

i think we're just born for the cameras. except me of course.. lack that special.. GIFT. hahah

The beauties for the night. I had the black angus with nice red wine marinate.. and the cool and exotic one was the black pork aka kurobuta pork which rlly tasted like beef.. despite porky origins. hahahah

The girls were there too la. but i guess it just that i wasnt in a picture mood that night.. so didnt take with all the gals.. but i guess i have something to make it all better.

I got the interesting idea of painting the nails of the first fella who fell aslp. and yeah. the gals had lotsa fun out of it. Don worry. only finger and toe nails were harmed. and yeah.. don that shade of pink bring out alex's feminism? hahaha

SingFest 08

Whoo whoo!

Ok. u guys shld know that went for singfest. Didnt get tix. but enjoyed it like i can. hahah.

First night went to catch lost prophets.. kinda alone.. but i guess that would have been me like a year ago if there werent anything exciting changes in my life.

Not quite a fan so i only enjoyed the rooftops song. felt that the system sucked and not cool enough. so i was desperate to get my hands on tix for sunday.

as u guys have know, the sunday tix is like impossible to get.. sold out a week ago, with new 300 tix to the alrd sold 10 000 tix. cost like 250 for each too. madness.

so i decided to get some when sistic opened, but was convinced not too.

then.. we kinda made pancakes for brunch, ate more food and prep for the lil picnic at singfest.

hahah i meant lil when i say it. cause we saw a bunch of pep with this huge picnic basket.. madness.

so we were there watching like jamie scott and the town, one republic, panic, and most importantly jason mraz. he rocked. seriously. the trumpet player too.. but everything was tight band, singing.. even the crowd. sgreans was damn high la. good atmosphere.

then of course.. had our share of jokes, ant bites and laughs.. something that will be hard to forget..

Wonderful memories forged today.

030808 0830

Yours truely?
=)

I stand by my word.

I still don believe in fatigue.

If u sleep right,

Work right,

You can never be tired.

As long as u have something to look forward to,

The energy will just ooze out of you.

U might feel the strain, but never get taken over by fatigue.

Yeah i know, what does the jobless guy know?

Its all psychological.

How can i convince?

If all goes well i have 2 jobs, commitments and maybe something or someone else to fuss about.


I'll put myself to the test and will update. =)

Theres no such thing as fatigue

Another week gone by

Coolness. 4 out of 7 days in a week.

So many things have happened.

So many things cleared.

So many new opportunities and so many new hopes.

The future is unfolding slowly..

and its true, sometimes u cant make it on your own?

Glad at least theres pep with me. =)

Small Step to Professionalism

Yesterday was the first and formal brownie making day at my aunt's hse.
An order by a friend of mine for gifts, so i decided to try to run a pseudo-business.
The look of the beauty in the oven , can see lil bit of choc swirls and stuff.. and yeah.. its savoury.. somehow.. haH















Kinda taught her to pipe out the names of her colleagues and this is what it looks like after completion. not bad for a first time. =) i couldnt have done better.















Other than brownies i had an order for chocs from my aunt. and i finally found that orange peel i wanted. so yeah. i gave the grandmarnier choc a makeover. this is what the new and improved version looks like. =)




















Made 3 sets of 8 pieces, 4 types.
The regulars will be able to tell which i made.
As seen below, we have toasted coconut truffles, my trademark chivas whiskey truffles and the new and improved grand marnier truffle.
Not seen below is the araguani dark choc truffle.















Upclose and personal.. coconut truffle. They look much more sunshine this time. toasted the coconut a lil longer, brings out the taste too. =)




















My chivas truffle was the hardest to work with for this batch, very runny, but i was quite happy with the end product. arty curves and all




















The final product. finally one that really looks like a gift. hahaha and yeah.. i like the outcome although i want to put more work into the grandmarnier one.. hahaha
Hope the lucky pep getting them like them. =)

Thursday Mornings

Emo?

Nah.

Just Low.

Brownie day.

Hope i wont crash.

Have to finish what i agree to.

And the stress of perfection is always present.


What would i do without...


You

Change

What can change in a week.

What rollercoasters

What revelations

Just watched P.S i love you on DVD today.

Made ice cream and just spent time with someone again.

I know its usually not me to mention details.

But i guess i'll just change that.


Tell me your fears and i'll free you from them.
As much as my humanly capabilities.

P.s. Dark Knight is damn nice.
Evil has never felt the same.
But yeah. the life columnist spoiled everything for me.
Except for the wonder performance for Joker.
Why So Serious?

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

I thought i was going through one of my vicious cycles of getting happy.. then emo then all together again.

But somehow.. i'm realli inspired.

I just finished watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

I guess i wont be able to relate as well if i had watched it earlier.

And sad to say for me.

I have to go back on my word and not piss off for a whole week.

Whimpy i know. but i guess i really have to put down my pride if i really want to make things right.

The sign came at the right time. Even Nietzsche was there.

Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders

But we shall not forget intentionally, for our memories and experience proves our existence.

To C. maybe we can just enjoy it?



Somehow its just always be Us and our heads huh.

Detox day 1

Somehow i only managed to get 3 hrs of sleep.

Stuff somehow came together.

Indigestion.

Insomnia.

cant really find another word starting with "I"

Msged nicole when till lik 2+3?

at leasts thats the last thing i remembered.

and a weird dream with strangers and ice cream.

insanity is just a stone throw away

Back to the tragic humor

I always believed in this.

Tragic irony.

Romeo and Juliet dies because of miscommunication.

And words coming back to haunt you.

I've always wanted to find my muse.

I've found her.

But is she mine?

Can u HAVE one?

Its always funnier in retrospective

Lifehouse-Broken

The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
Is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay

The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing In your name
I find meaning So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you
Barely holding on to you

What do u do when u see the end coming?
Make it less painful?
Or make the most out of it?

Move Along

I know i've moved on from pain.

Regret

and Dispair.

But am i still holding on to useless scrap emotions

just Let go.

and Move along with life?

Easier said than done

Busy?

Hahah.. sometimes. things just happen and take their place in your life.

In the coming 2 weeks, will be going for one day tour thing with my family,

work on 2 separate creation for and with new friends.

and still carry out my weekly commitments like tuition with marc,

meeting the old folks,

and my 1 special day of indulgence.

hahah. i don really have much time unless i remain jobless for next 2 months.

although i might not get the job, i kinda hope i don too.

since everyone is stopping soon.

and i'll have more time whipping myself into shape.

hmmm

and the most impt problem.

lets see how it works out

Succumb to the Inner Geek

hahaha..

Wanted to do a simple entry about how i finished watching Dexter after the past month.

Its a seriously great series, with nudity and gore of course.. but yeah.. something that i really enjoyed watching.

and i did "some" surfing, which by that means i clicked on the first site i googled.

and i found this =)

Another Week

Time pass fast. Was home for arnd a week, met colleagues for lunch on monday. More Muffins.





Back to being domesticated. Cooked. And did some thinking.





But stuff don't turn out as u expected it right.





Got a temp job on fri, sticking stickers but i guess anything's fine with pay.





met the usual old folks on friday night.. orchard. finally tasted the soba place i wanted to.





and yeah. lucky me got a nice choice...





But sadly good reviews werent throughout the panel. HaH.


















My Soba in duck Broth. damn nice =)

The Mandarin Orange peel brings a little twist and brings out the broth well.

The Duck meat too. Damn fattening. But flavourful. muahahah..

like what i always say. Eat Well, die young.

Thats the way to go. =)

Random.

bas·tard (bstrd)
n.
1. A child born out of wedlock.
2. Something that is of irregular, inferior, or dubious origin.
3. Slang A person, especially one who is held to be mean or disagreeable.


Just wanted to find the definition of something we commonly use to describe people.. like all men are bastards.. so.. hmm.. am i one?


I don feel like being sensitive now.

Something is wrong?

Am i always Emo?

hahah. Tell me if u can catch what i'm getting at.

Solitude

What do you do when you're alone?

Although we usually judge people by how they look , their actions or how they carry themselves,

I believe the one true way to judge oneself is by the harshest critique, which is simply, yourself.

Only you know how good, bad or beyond good or bad you are.

When you face yourself, and the higher being if you believe exist, that would be the one true judgement of character.

Been immersed in the Ubermensch concept a little too much , but i believe that one can live by their own rules and own definition of good and bad, although if those definitions often clash with the real world's.

The idea on its own is destructive enough. but i guess. Its evolution.

For a higher being, free spirit or whatever u call it, solitude is the way out. To gain objectivity, isolate yourself from the herd and maybe then make something good.

Something good for you? the herd or just something.

Maybe only then you can pull away from mediocrity and have the chances of attaining excellence?

I would hope to believe so. But its a fact that no man is an island, the whole basic concept of humans is that we are social creatures. Or is it so?

I don't know enough exceptions to make an example. But i believe that its possible to incorporate a social life within the Ubermensch life. Life amongst others.

But share the life with another?

I'm not too sure about that.

Delicate life to the study of life, but not lose focus?

Sounds challenging.

Too challengin?

Fundamental Question

Can both - and philosophy coexist?

Or is solitude the one and only way for objectivity?

Can i ever give up either one entirely?

Only Time can answer my questions.

Updates

Think although i believe no one reads this crap,

but there are occasional blog stalkers here.. so here are the updates.

as of 1/7/08

i'm jobless. again. projected ended. and all the hoo ha and false hope of continuing to earn money for 2 months on the very last day of my work.

if u want my long story i can tell ya.

after this work experience, i believe i have learn much more.

like how to dial extension numbers and have 3 coffee breaks plus 1 lunch break. haH

ok. maybe 2. hahah

new friends, interesting new friends, and new cans of worms!

yes worms, worms that u wont get in contact with when i'm stuck in my little own world with a stove, tv set and a PC.

hahah. yeah

will be meeting up with people. talking. and maybe get back to exercising and prep for army.

counting down to my deadline.

Life is more meaningful if u take it as ur last.

Do and don't regret. But be responsible for others ya.

haha. i sound so old.

Fark

De javu?

No matter how well i try to protect my stuff.

Someone else always comes along and wreak havoke.

The first guitar.

A hole under the body of the freaking guitar.

Now the 2nd

My favorite of the few.

Drop

Finish cracked

String broke

Farking bad shape.

Its not you fault!

Fark

It cant be clearer than this.

Hmm. Photocopies supposed be cool right?

No matter how much philo i read,

This is what i live by.

Success

Hahaha.. version 1.0 of the Fudge brownie failed and gave me pudding.

It tasted ok. but texture was like sludge.

Thick chocolate sludge.

hahaha. but version 2.0 was fine. very fine indeed.

Reduced sugar, added nuts and reduced choc chips. it was nice. =)

hahaha. baked till perfection. less fudgy than expected. but at least it was moist.

and yeah. thou my strawberry ice cream came up alil sour, due to the excess lemon juice,

i think its fine. thats why it tasted like yogurt? hahaha.

and the surprise wasnt ruined. so yeah. what more can i want?

Count your blessings.

Although what i always believed in is back to haunt me,

i think its ok if everything remains balanced ya?

hahah.

more brownies by this week.

and maybe chocolates too.

Hope i get to see you soon?

=)

V for Volatile

Somehow.

The active lifestyle is taken the toil on me.

temper flare damn fast.. get affected easily by sarcastic comments.

reasons.. lack of sleep? nothing comforting? i think the hectic schedule of the pseudoelitist is the cause. haH

lets see.. tuition twice a week. a mini project for me each week(just to keep me occupied and sane.. and meet up with friends. hahaha

i'll tell you guys about what i've accomplished when i do.

work's almost completed.. and i have time for my projects.. hmmm

but yeah. was planning to carry out stuff when i met up with wayne and played the guitar at my hse till 5 am the next day. hahaha. stayed over at my hse of course..

then i picked my ass up to buy fridge(s) with mum and aunt at novena.. while wayne picked his up to go to sentosa. hahah

guess what. after everything, we met up again with alex and sx.. i met them only aft dinner and went for drinks at.. guess where.. balcony.. where we visited our favorite waitress mandy and had lotsa fun as usual. hahaha ended up home at 4+

sunday was fine.. slept til 1. continued project and that was almost it. hahaha

weekends are longer if u sleep less. drink more. hahah. but yeah. monday is like stoning day after that. haH

now.. i just have to wait and see what this week has installed for me.

and yeah. addicted on Oasis- don't look back in anger.

damn nice song..


whoo whooo

kinda broke for the week, and something tells me that my body is screwd up. hmm..

Mood swings

Work was great.

Had help from an unfortunate aqquaintance whom i end up being very greatful.

I'll be done with work much sooner than expected.

More of life for me.

Finally.. i get to meet pep after work.

But i still wanna work OT thou.

hmm..

Blew my temper once again.

i guess i only do that when i've met pep whom i care about.

normally i cant be bothered with even just anyone to get that pissed.

but the brightside was that i enjoyed that bot of sake so much i ended up waking up at 430, 630 and finally 855 to shut off my alarm which was supposed to ring at 9.

one week. thats all u need to have a change in ur life.

lets see what next week gives me.

so yeah.. for those who care about me.

my friends.

i can get emo.

but i can bounce right back too.

don worry.

i have to pick myself up sometime.

sooner or later.

To Xinru

Hmm.. i guess its right.

The vicious cycle is back.

Emo time.

Maybe worst this time.

Really feeling it this time.

Freud

Freud would say that this feeling is linked to some childhood trauma.

I say he's right.

I can remember that specific incident.

From then on i hate getting others into trouble.

Alot.

Even if there's feelings involved

I'll just throw it all away.

Its the one and only thing i do best.

Time for self-destruction.

Let it burn. let it burn

When theres no body

When you stop.

and think

under the mrt track

in the rain.

Why are u here?

Who has your back?

No one.


Welcome to my life

3 years of my life gone

Graduation.

A day that i didnt expect to come.

I went to sch to meet lex and wayne who were alrd photowhor-ing.. and started to take pics with them. hahah

then it was time for our ceremony. 3 yrs. familiar faces all arnd.. memories came back just like that.

You future is a piece of white paper. Unwritten. Many people found the speech boring. but i found it inspiring. like.. VEry?

hahah.. after that was cool. more photo whor-ing with class mates.. we even too 1 with ms chan.. sandra and i..

then we went to return the gown and stuff.. in the rain. and yeah.. more updates bout each other.. then soon we were done with it and we went vivo.. thai express again.. 10% off just seem so attractive. hahah

then we went star bucks to talk and stuff.. truth or dare with zhong zi mi ma.. the usual.. alot of hidden secrets revealed.. esp like my deep dark ones . hahahah... but yeah.. maybe i don like confrontation but.. yeah.. maybe after 3 yrs should end on happy note? but yeah.. shall update to know who's getting married or who shot gun.

Hope its not me.
Alvin
Cya in 2010.

Swim or Die.

Juz came back from drinking session with wayne alex and sx.

had dinner at crystal jade. damn difficult to find the specific one out of the 4.

haH.

After that went to TCC for coffee. waited for lex.

Kaffee-tini is gay. Lambo still best drink there.

Then went to pee. and ended up at Balcony again.

Pee-ed. and started first round of drinks. screwdriver, whiskey coke. one jug each. hahah

talked rubbished and drank... then i craved for more. tried this whiskey macallan 12 or something on rocks. not bad. smooth. nice aftertaste.

but cool part i'm still here.

no slp.

NUS open house.

I'm going alone. Hang over? and yeah. have to see how i adapt now.

the talks i wanna listen to is like from 2 onwards.. slpy time? hahah. hope i don disgrace myself. haH.

aunt house after that. need to make the bruchettas and all. hope i don screw it up and burn down her kitchen. wish me luck.

Sometimes u just have to function by instinct. by pass ur brain. swim. or die.

Would u eat cardboard with me?

I have tasted wonderful food.
With wonderful people.

But i always believed the person whom shared the pleasant food memories share suffer along with me when i chew on cardboard to make ends meet.

thats when u know u have met the person u would be with for the rest of ur life.

True or not?

Only time well tell.

My rhythm is back up.

Don worry peps. i'm not emo anymore.

Just awake.

No more delusions.


-Human.

Creep.. again

Somehow i just relate to this song.. aint it just poetry?


When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out the door
She's running out
She run run run run...run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...

I just need something to take up my time

Maybe its true.

I'm not in love with what i have desired.

But in the desires themselves.

I'm so freak bored.

Maybe i'll just try my hand at fixing that freaking oven.

Wanted to bake brownies today..

and yeah the piece of shit oven kinda showed me that it was live.

i touched the rack and it went Bzzzz. Ouch

I touched it a second time. Bzzz. ouch.

no more third. but i just found it weird that it went up to 230 yest.. something is damn wrong.

why did the bulb blow?

and did i do something wrong?

anyhow.. i think i'll check it out again. tmr

when i'm alone at home.

but don fear. i try to not get myself killed.

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

Met up with xinru yest.

After an interesting choc tasting session with aunt and mum.

Talked about alot.. had dinner.

Updates updates updates.

Somehow.. maybe its just the both of us.

or that we just arnt mainstream.

the stuff we do. the way we pursue education.

girls and all.

but yeah..

at the end of the day.. its the process and whether we get there.

I'm at an important point in my life.

I'm going into the army. I have university applications waiting for me.

But yeah.. it would all be so nice if i have someone to share it with me.

but yeah.. u cant always get what u want yeah?

So i guess. its only me and my frens here then.

hahah.. maybe i shall make a pact with myself.

Settle down only when i get there.

and theres a freaking winding road.

donno who i'll meet along the way..

but i just hope it works out fine.

My future.

Wait for me.

I Just Is.

I started my journey in pursuit of a wonderful article with meaning.

Armed with my books, a pen and a note book,

I went to find a corner where my thoughts could flow.

Nothing came out.

And then i went to meet wayne and saw people at the club.

Then it all came to me.

Inspiration do not only come to me from text.

Philosophy is about life. and thats what i write about.
-Here it goes

Change

Got reminded by Nietzsche about people.

How we are undefined. How humans just.. is.

No its not a grammer mistake. we just cant be defined by others, until we have defined ourselves.

For some.. it is the lack of change, the style or personality that defines who he or she is.

But for me. Its the ability of change that defines me.

When i was talking to a fren, i saw how someone else failed to change. after 3 whole years and the person had the same troubles as before.

And the first thing that came to my mind shocked me.

I have grown so much. changed so much that i actually think that i'm quite proud.

For the close friends who have been with me at my weakest moments. Dealing with breakdowns of emotions.. the after effects of the implosion. and that one truely scarring incident.

I survived it. I grew out of it. and i'm not the same sicko as before. Sick still no matter. But i am sure i have come a long long way.

As a person. i have learnt to put away my past and move on. Even with skills i have learnt amazing stuff. Who knew i could learn how to make chocolates? What about desserts from scratch? my culinary skills aint that good but it will grow.. at least i hope..

and yeah.. somehow.. i have done it without any specific motivating factor..

which comes to the next point.

what now? how do i change even more to get better?

i shall spell this out to everyone.

I have always been at the mercy of my emotions. temporary highs coming and going.. along with people in my life. infatuation.. crushes and all nonsensical.

explains my mood swings. but i have always thought that i wouldnt survive without periods of temporary highs.

I always believed that i needed muses to inspire to make wonderful creations, no matter if its food chocolates or even art.

I want to change that.

I want to change not because of some random girl but for myself.

I want to change and prove that its all in me. and not anyone else.

I want to change and get myself out of this vicious cycle.

I have done so much without noticing. and i didnt need any girl to get me through.

The only people i thank is my frens. Those who stood by me throught the hard times.

And those who just happen to be there.

Thank you. And i promise i'll offer much much more in the future.

No matter how far that will be.


To the future me: Never take anyone for granted. Remember to Count your blessings.

Miss me? I'm back

Hmm.. after that very inspirational turn of events...

alot of creative juice flowed in terms of food..

to the point i need to recover from loss of fluids.

hahah

welcome my objectivity back.

Delusional were similar to the euphoria of love...

but i guess.. they are called delusions for a reason.

Lets just get rid of them and get on with life ya?

Mother's day Feast

Hmm.. Wanna avoid the chaos during mothers day? Need somewhere to dine? Cook for your mum then!. hahah

okay.. it wasnt too fantastic.. something was wrong.. maybe i did too many things at once.. so the food didnt turn out as perfect as i wanted.

First.. appetizers... Baby cherry Buchetta with parsley, and mixed garden salad =)

The starters......

Up close... my salad =)

Close up of half eaten buchetta =)

Then we had the main course.. wanted a lil fusion food. Japanese Miso Risotto with Black pork chops with Buffalow Sauce..

Yeah. thats it.. quality not as cool though.. over cooked the pork.. risotto lack the OoompH. but yeah.. i guess.. the food cant be perfect every single time ya?

Happy Mothers Day!

Mday Set of 6 =)














Hmm.. What have i been up to? Here's the proof.. Made chocs for all my aunts and mums and all.. supposed to be a secret still so.. Shhhh.. hahah

A Set of 6.. Each with its own personality and taste.. so start drooling ya














Strawberry Cup Surprise!
-Valrhona Ivoire white chocolate with Strawberry Liquer
with a 55% Equitorial Dark Chocolate with Fresh strawberries Puree














Coconut Truffle
-Classic Coconut Truffle using Valrhona Ivoire White Chocolate with a Coconut Cream Ganache
(Favorite Item =)














Dark Chocolate Truffle
-65% Valrhona Manjari Dark Chocolate Ganache finished by 55% Equitorial chocolate and Valrhona Cocoa Powder














Grand Marnier Truffle
- 55% Valrhona Equitorial chocolate Ganache infused with Grand Marnier, finished using Equitorial Chocolate and Dark Chocolate Flakes














Dark Lemon Squares
-Lemon infused Ivoire White chocolate filled Squares finished with Valrhona 55%Equitorial Chocolate














Mango Yogurt Truffle
-Mango infused filling made from Mango Puree and Yogurt encased in Dark chocolate Shell.

Woah.. that was the intro.. and yeah.. Potential investors out there.. TAG ME! haahha