to my friends

Sometimes.. i regret not showing you guys all of me
for some who have seen
they know what i am and what i go through

i know i come off as a sarcastic jackass who luffs at every single person and object
and i don give a damn about anything in the world.
actually i do
too much actually.
when i get depressed,
everything gets to me

i hate being alone
i hate being in the dark
i hate being just myself
i hate myself
i have nothing to be proud of

i rebutt any remark from anyone,
just to defend my ass
i lie just to win the argument
i hate it when u guys get it right
i feel the pain
but i still have to make you not see it

i hate how i'm living
fake
just plain bullshit.