Disarray

How songs can just pop up and u can relate to them? listen to this.

I face my demons wrestling these angels to the ground
And all that I could find was a thin line between all the saints
And villains it was crossed
In my own mind

Some day I'm gonna find it wish i knew what i was looking for
inside the disarray
I woke up this morning don't know where I'm going but it's
Alright I wouldn't have it any other way

Struggling between the facts and fiction I'm alone
But I'm alive
Everyone around me is trying to make a statement
Then there's me
I'm just trying to survive

Some day I'm gonna find it wish i knew what i was looking for
inside the disarray
I woke up this morning don't know where I'm going but it's
Alright I wouldn't have it any other way

If this was any other day I'd pretend to know where I stand
I just don't know

I need rest. Maybe I can get my objectivity back.

Passive Yet Active

I have chosen to not share my care and concern about people. I just make that effort and stay mute about it. But there are always times when i'm pushed to my limit. Like now.

People say stupid stuff. They don mean it. We do the same things. But what to do after that is another choice. It will determine whether things get better or worst.

I'm Passive. But it does not mean i don care.

If u cant see concern, it doesnt mean its not there.

You Just cant see it.

Whats Wrong?

Somehow. I believe. Everyone knows whats wrong whats the solution to correct that wrong.

Its down inside. we don see it. But its there.

But sometimes the answer i not what is in your control.

So what do u do? Vent your anger on yourself? Nice Move.

You have just proven to ur friends what no matter what they have done or tried to do didnt work.

You ask for a conversation. But you still do what u want with or without that conversation. So why should ur friends make that effort to be there for u?

We choose to be there. Its not something that we HAVE to do.

Count Your blessings. If not you'll have one less soon.

Time

Past Present and Future.

How do u link everything together?

Its scary for me. When everything meets and soon it will all be over.

Like how i spent my time with little miss valentine. And now its over.

Now. its purely work and trying to prepare for the future.

Future. Graduating. Army. 2 years.

Saw little miss valentine after getting ps-ed by alex wayne and aud today. Didnt run. Too shag. depressed. first time thought wanted to do something nice like going out. even if it was onli with aud. but somehow it was all over. and she was alrd at city hall and it was off. without me knowing.

Saddening.

But yeah.the sight of Little miss valentine got me stirred up and stuff. Its not just a cut of kinda thing. there will be more of her arnd when sch starts. but everything now is different. What happend is now known as the past.

Present. I have someone who will be happy with me and someone to at least try to cheer me up when i'm down. so its good. But. will this move on to the future too? i have no idea. I donno if its possible. but i guess. we'll see what happens for NOW.

What lies in the future is scary for me. I know i'm not ready. don ever know whether i will be. But i have to go tru it. Thats all i know. If i survive it will be great.

Some times u are sorry that things don just work out like they do and things just happen. And somehow i just guess that its not meant to be.

But yeah. there might be surprises ahead. so. wait?

Tears

Why do people cry?

What are tears?

What have i seen so many people cry around me?

What can i do when someone cries?

Cheer them up? act stupid? do something nice?

I donno.

i hate to see people cry.

Sometimes i take it out on myself.

sometimes just ignore.

Until i finally break.

I don want to feel what others do.

I just do.

Don feel like blogging.

after chalet, 15hrs of sleep and traumatising lab session.
i don feel like bloggin.
so much drama these few days
Friends crying like anywhere anytime.

Emo is contagious.
i need to clear my brain and nose
blog later blog later

i'll do the tag thing soon.. hopefully.

Is it real?

I sat in the cinema. Felt queasy. Then i heard from rosa theres an earthquake. I don believe i felt it.

753am. sufing blogs. checked out ww blog talking bout earth quake. The same sensation visits me. my legs are shaking. is it the cold? am i dreaming? i stand up. Nothing. Then i hear a creaking sound. the fan that wasnt on is swaying side to side.

believe or not? I'm in jurong west.