Creep.. again

Somehow i just relate to this song.. aint it just poetry?


When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out the door
She's running out
She run run run run...run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...

I just need something to take up my time

Maybe its true.

I'm not in love with what i have desired.

But in the desires themselves.

I'm so freak bored.

Maybe i'll just try my hand at fixing that freaking oven.

Wanted to bake brownies today..

and yeah the piece of shit oven kinda showed me that it was live.

i touched the rack and it went Bzzzz. Ouch

I touched it a second time. Bzzz. ouch.

no more third. but i just found it weird that it went up to 230 yest.. something is damn wrong.

why did the bulb blow?

and did i do something wrong?

anyhow.. i think i'll check it out again. tmr

when i'm alone at home.

but don fear. i try to not get myself killed.

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

Met up with xinru yest.

After an interesting choc tasting session with aunt and mum.

Talked about alot.. had dinner.

Updates updates updates.

Somehow.. maybe its just the both of us.

or that we just arnt mainstream.

the stuff we do. the way we pursue education.

girls and all.

but yeah..

at the end of the day.. its the process and whether we get there.

I'm at an important point in my life.

I'm going into the army. I have university applications waiting for me.

But yeah.. it would all be so nice if i have someone to share it with me.

but yeah.. u cant always get what u want yeah?

So i guess. its only me and my frens here then.

hahah.. maybe i shall make a pact with myself.

Settle down only when i get there.

and theres a freaking winding road.

donno who i'll meet along the way..

but i just hope it works out fine.

My future.

Wait for me.

I Just Is.

I started my journey in pursuit of a wonderful article with meaning.

Armed with my books, a pen and a note book,

I went to find a corner where my thoughts could flow.

Nothing came out.

And then i went to meet wayne and saw people at the club.

Then it all came to me.

Inspiration do not only come to me from text.

Philosophy is about life. and thats what i write about.
-Here it goes

Change

Got reminded by Nietzsche about people.

How we are undefined. How humans just.. is.

No its not a grammer mistake. we just cant be defined by others, until we have defined ourselves.

For some.. it is the lack of change, the style or personality that defines who he or she is.

But for me. Its the ability of change that defines me.

When i was talking to a fren, i saw how someone else failed to change. after 3 whole years and the person had the same troubles as before.

And the first thing that came to my mind shocked me.

I have grown so much. changed so much that i actually think that i'm quite proud.

For the close friends who have been with me at my weakest moments. Dealing with breakdowns of emotions.. the after effects of the implosion. and that one truely scarring incident.

I survived it. I grew out of it. and i'm not the same sicko as before. Sick still no matter. But i am sure i have come a long long way.

As a person. i have learnt to put away my past and move on. Even with skills i have learnt amazing stuff. Who knew i could learn how to make chocolates? What about desserts from scratch? my culinary skills aint that good but it will grow.. at least i hope..

and yeah.. somehow.. i have done it without any specific motivating factor..

which comes to the next point.

what now? how do i change even more to get better?

i shall spell this out to everyone.

I have always been at the mercy of my emotions. temporary highs coming and going.. along with people in my life. infatuation.. crushes and all nonsensical.

explains my mood swings. but i have always thought that i wouldnt survive without periods of temporary highs.

I always believed that i needed muses to inspire to make wonderful creations, no matter if its food chocolates or even art.

I want to change that.

I want to change not because of some random girl but for myself.

I want to change and prove that its all in me. and not anyone else.

I want to change and get myself out of this vicious cycle.

I have done so much without noticing. and i didnt need any girl to get me through.

The only people i thank is my frens. Those who stood by me throught the hard times.

And those who just happen to be there.

Thank you. And i promise i'll offer much much more in the future.

No matter how far that will be.


To the future me: Never take anyone for granted. Remember to Count your blessings.

Miss me? I'm back

Hmm.. after that very inspirational turn of events...

alot of creative juice flowed in terms of food..

to the point i need to recover from loss of fluids.

hahah

welcome my objectivity back.

Delusional were similar to the euphoria of love...

but i guess.. they are called delusions for a reason.

Lets just get rid of them and get on with life ya?

Mother's day Feast

Hmm.. Wanna avoid the chaos during mothers day? Need somewhere to dine? Cook for your mum then!. hahah

okay.. it wasnt too fantastic.. something was wrong.. maybe i did too many things at once.. so the food didnt turn out as perfect as i wanted.

First.. appetizers... Baby cherry Buchetta with parsley, and mixed garden salad =)

The starters......

Up close... my salad =)

Close up of half eaten buchetta =)

Then we had the main course.. wanted a lil fusion food. Japanese Miso Risotto with Black pork chops with Buffalow Sauce..

Yeah. thats it.. quality not as cool though.. over cooked the pork.. risotto lack the OoompH. but yeah.. i guess.. the food cant be perfect every single time ya?

Happy Mothers Day!

Mday Set of 6 =)














Hmm.. What have i been up to? Here's the proof.. Made chocs for all my aunts and mums and all.. supposed to be a secret still so.. Shhhh.. hahah

A Set of 6.. Each with its own personality and taste.. so start drooling ya














Strawberry Cup Surprise!
-Valrhona Ivoire white chocolate with Strawberry Liquer
with a 55% Equitorial Dark Chocolate with Fresh strawberries Puree














Coconut Truffle
-Classic Coconut Truffle using Valrhona Ivoire White Chocolate with a Coconut Cream Ganache
(Favorite Item =)














Dark Chocolate Truffle
-65% Valrhona Manjari Dark Chocolate Ganache finished by 55% Equitorial chocolate and Valrhona Cocoa Powder














Grand Marnier Truffle
- 55% Valrhona Equitorial chocolate Ganache infused with Grand Marnier, finished using Equitorial Chocolate and Dark Chocolate Flakes














Dark Lemon Squares
-Lemon infused Ivoire White chocolate filled Squares finished with Valrhona 55%Equitorial Chocolate














Mango Yogurt Truffle
-Mango infused filling made from Mango Puree and Yogurt encased in Dark chocolate Shell.

Woah.. that was the intro.. and yeah.. Potential investors out there.. TAG ME! haahha